Would you stay with me? Would you calm the storm in me? Would you bear my confusion and be patience with the hidden sides you had not known.
We have been best of friends, lovers; laughing, eating and having the best moments of our lives together yet under different roofs we sleep, wake up. We refrain from each other at the right time to our own homes,” parents house” our dwelling. We divorced with sleep and partnered with staying awake at night so we can hear our own sweet voices, make our wishes, plans over phones.
Deeply have I fallen in love with you; desperately I wait for our wedding- day and night. Not thinking of any future challenges only wishing for a “Happy forever moments of our lives”.
Now you are on your knees, with an open box inside is a diamond ring. Not just an ordinary ring; but one that you must have spent all your savings to buy. You’re not sure if “I will say yes” or be
willing to stay with you. Your smile glows- it melts my heart and arouses all the sleeping butterflies in my stomach. My knees weaken. At this moment, our love is constant, strong but with mixed feelings and unanswered question. As if planned, we both wondered in our minds, “really! Will you stay with me?”
There parts of me that you have not seen, especially when everything is not going on well around- Parts that are broken, hidden and need repair. Scars not expose to the world for fear of being totally smashed. They have become my best friend for so long even if my love for you greater.
Would you know how to repair and turn them into beauty and peace? I trust the beauty of your kind, irreplaceable, golden love to restore the cracks and fill the crevices where life has left me empty. But are you willing to be my pottery artist? – So am turned into your own personalized perfect beauty of your gifted handcraft work.
We have worked together to keep the flame of our love burning, communicated as often, gone to places together- What scares me is that we have never lived under the same roof 24/7. Now I guess you get my deep fear; it’s like a risk am determined to take. It’s a known risk and underneath it is a bed of pure love waiting to birth the best moments of our lives. Am a risk taker! A determined lover!
You must be wondering what this girl is talking about.yep! Yep! Yep! It’s marriage. It’s marriage without looking back or divorce. Matthew 19:5: And said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and the two shall be one flesh? Marriage is for the bold, fearless and greatest risk takers. It’s a beautiful thing to stay with somebody you truly love 24/7- Am told by my married friends. “Only the weak quit marriage, the strong ones fall, cry, rise up, love deeper and never give up. They fight together, fail together, and win together”. Truth I have seen both the weak and strong marriages.
God is the author. Marriage is not only a bed of roses but thorns also – rough surfaces, difficulties, disagreements. These challenges makes both of you better, more understanding, more determined, caring and loving towards each other. The core, central being in every working marriage is God. The fear of God by both. Acknowledgement of God in every aspect of their lives; during rise and falls; without children and with children. God must be constant. God is love. “God is the author to be consulted in every chapter of our marriage lives. He guides, provides and sustains it”
Marriage can turn out to be a crucible- hot, unbearable, and confusing; it tends to make you forget happy moments and how far God has brought you in marriage; living you with a choice to make. Stay or ran away. Forgive or hate. Hurt or love more. Let God or do it your way. Choosing God’s way will save your marriage, make it more enjoyable, healthy and lasting. Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (NLT)
Marriage reveals sides. Sides of him you have never seen; Sides of her you have never seen. These can easily lead to butting of heads over differences. To get a compromise calls for sacrifices, gratitude over greed, self- protection over selfishness. Golden rule:“Never go to bed angry”. Yah, it sounds more theoretical than practical but it is possible. Challenges do not mold character; they simply reveal it. Do not judge. Be patient-It pains but pays. Keep your spouse empowered, motivated, pray with them and get glued by their sides amidst challenges. Its pure strength to know your lover is with you. Ephesians 4:26-27: “And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” (NLT)
Marriage is for learners not teachers; Constantly learning. Both become children who are willing to learn from each other and grow together. Growth is difficult, painful but with the watering of God’s love, guidance a beautiful union is birth. Accepting each other weakness and turning it to strength. For the husband being the Godly head of the family-the provider; for the wife being the proverb 31 woman-the helper. But above all, letting the Holy Spirit to lead, unite and help you every day.“Marriage is a beautiful gift from God; I too look forward to it soon”